What makes a marriage work?

Boy I have really led a boring life this past week! The week consisted of icestorms, snowstorms, reading, knitting, and Ashley coming home. Oh yeah... Ashley came home!

Ashley brought a new "Friend" home with her on Sunday for us to meet. They came home in the morning, went to church with me (Glen got called in to work because of a tree down in the road), had lunch, went to meet the grandparents, hung out, ate dinner, then went home. It was good to see her again. Her friend, Micah, seems like a nice guy, he has a good head on his shoulders and he seems like the type who would take good care of her. But for right now they are "just friends" getting to know each other (although... It would be OK with me if they started dating).

I guess I am old fashion when it comes to relationships. I want Ashley to be with someone who can "take care of her". I don't want her to be the guy in a relationship. I don't want her to have to take care of him. I want to see her with someone who is smart, worldly enough to know how to survive out there, ambitious, hard worker, has or can get a good job, but is sensitive to her wants and needs. I don't believe in "woman's lib" when it comes to marriage. I don't want to have to change my own oil, wash my own car, take out the garbage, make repairs, Glen does all that stuff. On the other hand, I do all the cooking, cleaning, shopping, I get his lunch ready for him every morning, get the coffee ready. He has his jobs and I have my jobs and our marriage works! We don't split everything 50/50, I don't ask him to cook and he doesn't ask me to wash the cars. We like it that way. I guess that is another reason why I would survive living in the 1800's. Back then the men went to work and the women took care of the home, and THAT is fine with me, I can't wait till I don't have to work anymore!!! I guess if you have a 50/50 marriage and it works for you then that is all that matters.

I started a new book "Flies on the Butter" by Denise Hildreth. I read three of her other books and loved them, she is a Christian Fiction writer. So far this book is good with a very powerful message. It is about a woman who moved from SC to Washington DC and hasn't seen her mother in ten years, and now she is headed back home (you don't know why she left and why she is headed back yet), it is all about the drive home and all the people she meets along the way and her anxieties about going home.

My poll last week was What time would you like to visit? 1960's -2, 1800's -2, 1930's-1, 1700's -1, I found it interesting that no one wanted to visit the future, I guess we are more comfortable with what we know. This week's poll is - Junk Food!! I hope to get lots of responses to this one.


  1. I agree with you on many levels with the "old fashioned" marriages. I truly believe that I should not have to take out garbage, check the oil in my car, do any repairs on my car (including filling air with tires) because I have a husband. Frankly, that's why I married him, because I don't want to do that stuff. I would LOVE to be able to stay home and take care of my kids and the home. It's my dream. As much as I would love to have my own career and be successful, I think being a good mother and homemaker is a much more awarding career.

    Matt is trying really hard to get his business on the ground and start making really good money so I can stay home with our children. He knows I really want that in life. I would give anything to be able to be caught up with the house, laundry, kids, etc. Go to PTA meetings, be involved with school, those things.

    Paula Christine

  2. I agree too (obviously). I've been in relationships where I was the "guy" as mom said and its not fun.

    I think the women who want careers over family give women in general a "rough n' tough" feel. Women are gentle, fragile, and want to be taken care of. Sure I'm majoring in Youth Ministry and want to "lead youth" but to be honest, I would love nothing more than to marry someone who shares that dream and just work with/under my husband as opposed to running my own ministry by myself.

    Yep I'm traditional... and I like it that way.

    BTW, Love you mommy

  3. I agree with you too!! When I have children, I want nothing more than to be able to stay home with them and teach them, take them to the park, etc. Not have to worry about work and other things. I prefer the guy to work, and the woman to stay home and take care of the house and children. Unfortunatly, it's so hard these days to be able to live off of one income! Sometimes woman have no choice but to work.

  4. I take out the garbage, he brings in the empty cans. Basically I take care of the inside and he takes care of the outside. It works for me. He earns the money and I spend it :-)
    I never had the oportunity when the kids were little to be a stay at home mom, I would have loved to. Some times you don't always have that choice. I didn't. I had to be the "bread winner".

  5. You know, I think all of our activities in the 1980's when we all believed the Superwoman could have everything, work career, family and a social life was a flawed expectation. I salute you who are able to divide the work and the life. Traditional worked, superwoman just resulted in break downs.

    Nice blog.

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  7. My Mother was in a very traditional marriage and that worked for her until my Dad died and left her with four young children. By then she had no earning power and really had to struggle. I vowed that would never happen to me and that I would make sure I always had an independent income and would not depend on my husband. That works for me and cuts down on my anxiety.